Hi friends and family!
I’ve been having a little difficulty emailing out my prayer letters because the documents are too large. So, I figured that for some I would post them here on my blog. 
Obviously, there are some I can’t post on here and would gladly email you the content and maybe do a picture post? I don’t know. I’ll figure it out. 
So, here is January’s.
In Senegal when you’re asking about someone’s family you ask, “Have you the news of ___?” We frequently hear from our precious friends here, “Have you the news of Whitney, Rachel, Paige or Michelle?” And we know they are asking how they are, what they’re up to, and if they send their greetings. If anyone asks you in America if you have the news of Mary, here’s what you can say:
The old, broken A/C unit in my bedroom has come back from the evil snares of hell and is blissfully kissing my sweat-soaked skin with a cold breeze. Have I died and gone to heaven? Sorry, I just fell into a joy driven daydream about my A/C unit. That’s awkward… We have air conditioning in one room and we’ve already established boundaries to it. Considering the high cost of electricity, we don’t want running it to be the norm. We don’t wanna become too luxurious here. But tonight’s our first night with it so you better believe I’m busting out my comforter and pretending like it’s really fall (Side note: It’s been in the mid to upper 80s every morning with a heat index of over 105, pretty much daily. Sweating is a new hobby. Eat that, water retention!).
There may have been tears of joy.
Okay, news number 2:
I’ve decided that I am the world’s worst about daily disciplines-whether that’s spiritual, being intentional in relationships, taking malaria medicine/bringing it to Senegal at all, working out.. Wait, did working out just come out of my mouth? Yes. I am now an active member of the “Let’s Get Fit” club. Okay, so that club doesn’t really exist that I know of, but all the girls on my STINT team love exercising in the morning. I am now working on developing a workout schedule for every day of the week to help become more disciplined. So, if you follow me on Pinterest and you see 329,487 posts about fitness, don’t be alarmed. I’m just trying to find workouts I like, will actually do, and ones that are creative and fun.
News Number 3:
Katie and I are quite excited about next weekend. Why you ask? We were asked to lead a seminar at a women’s retreat for missionary women throughout Dakar, Senegal, the Gambia, and outlaying countries. And what’s our topic? Fashion.
I think we’re wanting to address it in a way that isn’t, “Hey ladies, come fit into this box because that’s what the world says is cool.” That’s just not my thing. As Tullian T. says it in his book Unfashionable, Christians don’t do the world’s styles as good as the world does. We’re made to be different. Embrace who God has made you. If you’re a J.Crew girl, get on your sail boat and rock it. If you’re a I-wear-so-many-layers-that-sometimes-make-I-look-like-a-hobo, look like a homeless man for the glory of the Lord (#ilovethelayeredlookalittletoomuch…).
So, that should be interesting. We’re planning that this week. I’m excited to see what we come up with. I’ll let you know how that goes.
With all that said, I’m now going to go into our bedroom that we’ve all newly nicknamed Narnia. It’s like we’ve stepped through the wardrobe into the wintery lands of Narnia! Until next time.
Wow guys! Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve blogged! A ton of new things have been going on. Let me just inform you of a few:
1. I learned how to scale and gut a fish. I’m so Senegalese.
That water was once clear.
2. After much prayer, I have decided to come back again to serve God for another year in Senegal. I’ll be back in America in July to raise more financial monthly support and should be back in Senegal by September.
3. We hosted our first women’s bible study on campus. Bad news, we were down-wind from where all the sewer waste was. The hot air, wind, and the staunch of poop really hit hard. We need a new location.
4. My friend, M, prayer to receive Christ last week!
A, Paige, M and me about to eat Yassa Poulet.
5. We rescued 12-day-old abandoned kittens from the harsh, cruel wild known as Piscine Olympique. For about a week I became Cat-Mom. I fed them warm milk out of a zip-lock bag. I gave them baths. I changed out their poopy sheets. Then I got violently ill for about 8 hours. I was absolutely certain that I caught a bug from the stray infested felines. In my desperation and weak voice, I ordered John-Mark to get them out of my sight. So we no longer have kittens. Everyone lies to me and says they see John-Mark and Mary (their names respectively) wandering around our neighborhood being happy little kittens. I hope they aren’t lying.
6. God is showing me more of Himself and growing me in so many ways. I can’t even begin to describe how; we’d be here for hours if I began to explain.
7. We hosted a Youth and Sexuality conference for the students at UCAD. Over 100 students came and were given a book about abstinence and how they can recieve God’s free gift of grace in Jesus. We’re following up with these students to share with them the Good News of Christ in the next few weeks. Pray eyes will be opened to the truth of Christ.
8. We have received a finalized list of people coming on short-term missions trip to Senegal to serve with us. Over 20 students from America will join us in May-July in sharing the hope we receive in when we invite Jesus in as our Lord and Savior. I am excited because I know about 6 of the students coming. Praise God! Two of the staff members coming, Ben and Dayton, STINTed in Senegal for two years (2009-2011). I am excited to have them with us. I already know they will be such an encouragement because of Michelle’s view that Dayton thinks Dakar is like Narnia. I don’t see it, but that’s encouraging that he feels that way about Dakar.
I don't see it.
http://sebtswomenslife.blogspot.com/
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10. Did I mention that I love you readers? Cause I do.
As we are preparing to depart for our mid-year conference in Europe, my heart is heavy. We’ve never left Senegal before. We’ve never not seen our friends here. What’s it going to be like when we for certain leave in July?
Yesterday Katie and I met with a sweet friend, DiaDia. We have shared the message of hope and love with her numerous times before. But yesterday was different. I know that I am not guaranteed another day in Senegal let alone this world. The sense of urgency was there to tell DiaDia that Jesus is God, He died for our sins, He is the ultimate sacrifice and we must turn to Him in repentance and receive Him as our Savior and Lord to become children of God. My heart longs to see sweet DiaDia come to know the God of the universe.
My heart broke when she walked away still not having received Jesus as her savior. My heart broke when she cried because we were leaving for two weeks. My heart breaks knowing that in a few short months, I might be saying goodbye to DiaDia forever. I trust God with her, but my heart breaks that she is in bondage of self-works and striving for the acceptance of God when it is so freely given.
I am comforted by God’s immense love for me and all the people He is calling to himself. I am thankful that God has promised me an eternity with Him because of what Jesus did, not anything that I can do.
Please, continue praying for Senegal during this election period. Please be praying the Gospel would go forth and for our sweet friends like DiaDia to come to know the amazing grace He has lavished upon us.
So there’s this YouTube video that I love. Here’s the video. Watch it before you read any further.
Did you watch it? No? Go back and watch it.
Okay, now that that’s done we can advance onto more serious talk. I just love that video for various reasons. One: the kid is so stinkin’ adorable. If I ever have children, I hope our everyday conversations are like that. Two: This video is ridiculously catchy. I bet you’ll find yourself quoting this video. “Wow, daddy! Wow!” Three: what a sweet, patient and trusting relationship this kid and father have. I really just love the patience the father displays and the trust the kid has in his father to protect him from the claw!
So, I didn’t just post this blog to show you that video (although that would be okay in my book!). I just wanted to update you from the last blog that was maybe, slightly depressing and not so encouraging. Sorry about that. I’m human. Go figure.
This past week some of our parents were able to visit us in Dakar. Whitney, Michelle, and Paige’s parents came all the way from America to see what our lives look like here and what God is doing. We hosted a small party for some of our friends to come over and meet our moms. Fifteen girls came! It was ridiculous how great of a turnout we had.
Our moms were able to share their stories of how and when they gave their lives to Jesus, what trusting God with their daughters means and how their daughters being away has strengthened their walk with the Lord. It was super encouraging to hear how each mom had made a decision to receive Jesus, give God their lives and follow Him.
We then played a game where each Senegalese girl took a piece of paper that was either green, red, blue, or white. We had corresponding questions with each color. Although we didn’t really plan the conversation to be about us, many people got the questions, “What has one of the American girls taught you?” or “Tell the moms something about one of the Americans.” I think we were thinking people would answer, “This one time we went shopping and [blank] happened. It was so funny!” or “They taught us how to make pizza and muffins.” But that is not at all how these women answered the questions.
Several of our girls said things like, “Your daughters have taught us how to know God and taught us about Jesus.” Others said things like, “Your daughters have taught us how to love.” And one in particular stood out to me, “Your daughters teach us that Jesus died for our sins and made a sacrifice for us. Your daughters left family, parties, and other things to come here to tell us about Jesus. They made a sacrifice too.”
These past few weeks I’ve been feeling so terribly dry. We have been praying, laboring, and hoping to see people come to a saving faith in Jesus and there hasn’t been any fruit that we could see. My discouragement levels were at an all time high and I had just been wanting to escape from this mission God gave me. All of that was true of me until yesterday.
Yesterday, I was sweetly reminded that our labor is not in vain.
Although I may never see DiaDia, Awa, Fatou, Koudu, Aissatou, or Oumy come to know Jesus as Lord and Savior, our work is not in vain. People are hearing the good news of Jesus for the first time. The glory of God is being proclaimed to the nations. And some girls really are beginning to understand. My eyes do not have to be the judge of whether or not God is working. Sometimes I’m fully convinced that if I don’t see God moving, then He isn’t. That’s not true. It’s great to see God working and to be reminded of that, but my heart can’t rest in what I see. It needs to rest in the truths of God and in Him alone.
There’s a popular quote, “If I only see one person come to know Christ in all of my years of ministry, it will all be worth it.” I hate that dumb quote. To me that quote inadvertantly implies two questions: What if I spend all of my days serving Him and I don’t lead anyone to Christ? Was it worth it?
Serving God isn’t for me. It’s for His glory and honor. It is true that people coming to know Him through faith in Jesus brings Him glory and honor. Lives transformed because of what the Spirit does brings God and immense amount of glory. But my work for God is always worth it because He is worth it, not because of the results that I see.
It took me being discouraged from what I haven’t been seeing to appreciate the small steps I did see yesterday. And the work I saw God doing in the hearts of our girls yesterday reminded me that faith is not dependent on what I see. God is good and wants these women to know Him. God sent us here to proclaim the gospel and to shepherd the lost to Him. God has a purpose for our lives here even if I don’t see it. Giving up holidays with family, comfort in the U.S., my hair straightener (trust me, that’s been a hard one!), and wonderfully brewed Starbucks for a year to serve God isn’t a sacrifice. It’s an honor.
I’m still amazed at the patience God has with me. I am taught the same lessons over and over again. They are always like onions in that once you get through one layer there is another. I love that God sweetly teaches me to trust Him and gives me a glimpse of what He’s doing. I’m thankful for His patience and love and the fact that He leads us if we let Him. Sometimes you follow and serve and don’t see anything. But the times that He does give you a glimpse of His plan as a reminder of His faithfulness it just leaves you saying, “Wow God, Wow.”
Last night we hosted our major Christmas outreach party that included Senegalese students, Congolese staff and us American STINTers. We had five female students show up and eight-plus male students. We sang Christmas carols, told the Christmas Candy Cane story, danced, played games, shared how God gave us the best gift of all over 2,000 years ago, and even did a gift exchange. It was a so much fun.
It’s crazy to know that at all of our Christmas outreaches, every single woman that has attended has never celebrated Christmas. Making ornaments, decorating cookies, White Elephant, hearing the story of Jesus’ birth from one of the gospels is all new to them. It’s so exciting watching these women be given a childhood again, even if only for a moment.
Here are some photos for you to enjoy:
Rach, Whit and I
We're missing two other women students from this photo, but here's most of the women!
Well, there are so many things to say that I can’t quite think rightly of any which thing to speak of first. That’s the kind of mood I’m in. Enjoy. I have been singing a little ditty in my head for a little over a week now. The song: There Will Be A Day, by Jeremy Camp and Mary Smith. Allow me to divulge…
Senegal is dirty. I don’t mean disgusting and filthy, I really do mean there is a lot of dirt. We’re located right around the same area as the Sahara belt and the ever present drought continues to worsen our crusty condition. Our apartment, no matter how many times a day I sweep, always has a wonderful film covering our white-tile floors (don’t even ask me why anyone would put white tile across an entire apartment here…). Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, my feet have become permanently stained, and no this is not from my meticulously scribed tattoo.
As a part of attempting to keep my bedsheets clean, I either wash my feet before bed (this doesn’t always work that well because the walk from the bathroom to bed re-dirties my feet) or use baby wipes to remove the numerous impurities from my delicate pieds. One night a few weeks ago, I decided to go the baby wipes route. After seven, I repeat SEVEN, baby wipes my feet were still dirty. And what’s worse was those seven wipes were my last.
I defeatedly swiveled into bed and longingly stared at my feet as if they would magically transform into professionally pampered and polished feet. It was then that the lyrics just came to me: “there will be a day with no more dirt, grody feet, dirty sheets, but until that dayyyyy…. la la la. etc.” I know, I know. How did I come up with such brilliant lyrics? Like I said, it just came to me.
So, this blog actually has no pupose except to inform you that for the past week and a half my sheets have been trampled upon by my very own contaminated feet, but there is hope that one day (this week?) I will have clean sheets. And that there will be a day when I will look back and actually miss sweeping our apartment multiple times a day (ha, trust me.. that day has not yet arrived). I’m going to miss looking down at my dirt lines on my feet and thinking, “Man I got so tan today,” only to be reminded that I’m still so white after a good scrubbing (you think I’d learn this one after 3 months…). I’m going to miss the constant reminder that beautiful are the feet of those who bring the good news. I’m going to miss seeing the leftover journeys from the day on the roughened bottom of my feet.
I know we aren’t even half-way through with our internship here, but I really have come to love the little common inconveniences. Not that I delight in them or anything, but I love the feelings of uncomfortability they produce. I love knowing that this world cannot satisfy and that I am a sinner. I love seeing how easily common inconveniences can cause me to fall short because it automatically shows me the vastness of the grace and mercy of our holy and righteous God. I love the growth that comes from being frustrated, feeling defeated and unsure. Don’t get me wrong, I do not love my sin, sinful flesh, and sinful reactions. In fact, I hate those things. But, when I’m weak I am able to see that He is strong. When I’m defeated, I can rest in the truth that He is victorious and has made me victorious. These times of inconveniences are bitter sweet, but when I have an eternal perspective they are just sweet.
They are just sweet.
“I, the preacher of this hour, beg to bear my little witness that the worst days I have ever had have turned out to be my best days, and when God has seemed most cruel to me he has then been most kind. If there is anything in this world for which I would bless him more than for anything else it is for pain and affliction. I am sure that in these things the richest, tenderest love has been manifested towards me. I pray you, dear friends, if you are at this time very low, and greatly distressed, encourage yourselves in the abundant faithfulness of the God who hides himself. Our Father’s wagons rumble most heavily when they are bringing us the richest freight of the bullion of his grace. Love letters from heaven are often sent in black-edged envelopes. The cloud that is black with horror is big with mercy. We may not ask for trouble, but if we were wise we should look upon it as the shadow of an unusually great blessing.
-Charles Spurgeon”
I’ve been thinking about blogging about this incident for a few weeks now, but I haven’t been able to truly process it fully (to be frank, I still haven’t). There is are more layers to this story, but for the sake of your time I’ll try to give a little summary. Please bear with me as this blog might be a little bit scattered and probably long. *Also, feel free to share this blog with people, but please don’t tag me in it on Facebook. This is a highly sensitive post and could be controversial and problematic with my students. So, again, feel free to share it, but please make sure it stays off of my Facebook for the sake of the gospel.
A few weeks ago, Rachel and I went on campus to try to meet new students. We had a pretty good day practicing our Wolof and French and meeting students who were waiting to find our their grades from the summer’s exams. As we were leaving campus, this male student came up to us and acted like he knew us. I thought that he looked familiar and was a friend’s, Oumy’s, boyfriend. So I started talking with him. Not even 45-seconds into the conversation I realized that he was not Oumy’s boyfriend.
This student starts talking to us about why we’re in Senegal. We tell him that we’re working with Campus Pour Christ (by the way, that’s the name for Campus Cru. for Christ in Senegal). And he tells us that he’s seen a bunch of Americans here over the summer and during the past two years. That was actually the most encouraging part of our conversation. He had seen previous missionaries on the campus and our summer project team from earlier this summer. I thought maybe he had been exposed to the gospel. After that “intro” to conversation it went sour.
He began to talk to us about “beach girls” in America. For the sake of my supporters who might be reading this, know he wasn’t trying to say beach. He was talking about prostitutes in the United States but referring to them in a duragatory way. And once I figured out what he was talking about I quickly said their situation was sad. He asked why and I responded with, “Because they don’t know the extent of God’s love for them and that they don’t have to live like that.” He started to talk about prostitution in a glorifying way. My heart started to break/become enraged. One of my hopes and dreams is to help get women who are in bondage to prostitution off the streets and walking with the Lord.
He then brought up the depth of poverty here. Now, I have seen the poverty gap here. We went over this one. Right, God? This student told us that there was nothing wrong with selling sex and selling one’s own body. He continued to tell Rachel and I how he has to prostitute himself in order to have food. The simple question he posed, “Have you eaten your breakfast today?” made me sick to my stomach realizing the amount of food we have in our kitchen could feed this man for a year. He has to give the only thing he has to live. He described this “necessary evil” as something that was good. He claimed, “Since God is the creator of good and bad, whose fault is it when we choose bad? God’s. And if God created evil, is evil even bad?”
This broken man was trying to justify the wrong that had been done to him by ignoring the fact that evil even exists.
I think that moment, for several reasons, was my breaking point. I came home and walked into Michelle’s, Paige’s and Katie’s apartment and just cried. I was frustrated that the guy didn’t understand that God is good and in Him is no darkness. I was frustrated that he crossed a social boundary by talking about that stuff with women, especially because he brought that up in front of sweet, innocent, pure, little Rachel. But most of all, I was angry that he showed me a part of African life that I had been choosing not to see. That conversation opened my eyes to the depth of the hurt that exists here. Sometimes I’m so very disillusioned by the mask that my students wear so well. Sure, life is hard here, but they’re making it. They don’t even think they need God, so why am I here? In this converstation I saw it especially. The lies, the mutilation, the death, and destruction… Satan’s rule and reign is so strong here. Where was my God?
I wrote later in my journal:
“Lord Jesus, how overwhelmed and defeated do I feel in this battle? I cannot see past these battles in front of me to see Your faithfulness and Your heart to redeem these people. I am stuck in combat without the slightest hint that the war has already been won… I am wanting to see the gospel go forth and for people to come to know you, but that isn’t happening. Lord, do you even care for these people?”
To which He replied,
“I have conquered sin through my Son’s death and resurrection. I have already won the war, and even though you don’t feel like it, I’m fighting your battles for you. My timing is perfect, and my ways are not your ways. My love for that man is great, much greater than you can imagine. I do love these people way more than you do. My word never returns void even though you might not see how it permeates the human heart. I am faithful to the least of these and have a redemption plan for all the nations. Do you trust me?”
I am learning that my questions really are a perfect representation of my view of God. What do I believe about His character? Me asking if He loves the Senegalese is basically saying, “Hey God, I don’t trust that Your character is always the same with everyone, and Your word might not be true about your love for every single person.” He loves them more than I can imagine. Everytime I am asking God “why?” on their behalf, He reminds me that although I do love them very much, they are not mine. My Senegalese student’s are His. Do I trust Him with them? Do I trust Him to open the eyes of Miriama, Oumy, DiaDia, Isatou, and Awa’s hearts? Or do I think I am more able?
I’m growing more and more while being here, but it isn’t pain free. There are things I’ve seen, things I’ve experienced and things I’ve heard that grieve the heart of God. I’m learning more and more that when I asked to be His hands and feet, I was given His eyes, ears, and heart.
I am so thankful for this experience to be able to mirror Jesus to 60,000 college students. I’ve been able to see the depth of hurt, pain and evil here. But what I know from experience is way more powerful than any darkness. God is Lord over all. He is author of creation. He is King of kings. He is bigger than our trials.
I am here to testify that my God is good and does good. The God of the universe is orchestrating and weaving events in our daily life for our good. I am here to “have a big, high, right view of God and [have] my life testify to it and my lips proclaim it.”- Ryan Kucera. I am here to show a sick, fallen world the Healer and Redeemer. I am here to tell people that the only thing we have to give to God is our lives and that is where we find true life. I count it as joy to be able to serve Christ in this way, knowing that though there might be heartache, God is worth every, single ounce of it.
